Hair Attachments

Avoid extensions and artificial attachments at all costs, for when they are discovered, they can destroy the entire reputation, and make one wonder What else is not real?

It is stylish to attach pieces of metal or stone, and there is nothing wrong with losing an earring or having your bling bling otherwise go astray. But for centuries women have employed artificial attachments to themselves which masqueraded as themselves. This should never be done by the very young who have no need of such deceptions, and those of more advancing age should use with extreme care and caution. In the 1700s, there was a gentleman who complained about "the modern mode of artificial eyebrows. The other night at cards, I observed across the room that my wife's eyebrow had loosened in the heat and begun to shift." Perhaps he lacked the appropriate subtlety, for when he drew her attention to the fact in a loud voice, all in the room watched her as she "immediately uttered a loud shriek and was removed from the room in a succession of fits." It is reminiscent of television blooper shows when hair attachments get caught on outer clothes being removed, and off they come with the headgear, to the amusement of the onlookers.

When we discover artifical bits and pieces to the woman, we no longer trust what we see, including the pieces that are really there. Now, we doubt, forever and for all time, whether we are looking at the whole beauty or just a composite of parts of a human structure that may be on the verge of collapsing before our eyes.

It is said that shiploads of bought hair, carcases of dead birds and the skins of animals adorned the beauties of the latter decades of the 1800s. "At a recent public assembly every third woman seemed to be painted, and eyebrows and eyelashes colored, and false hair worn." The woman who can avoid anything artificial always runs the risk of others wondering. An entire episode of the Jerry Seinfeld show concerned the to be or not to be of a young woman's upper beauty. It was the doubt of reality that caused the main character to break off their relationship, only to discover by an accidental trip and grope, they were very real and spectacular.

We must believe that whatever was given to us as natural and real is spectacular. The act of enhancing runs the risk of discovery, after which the entire reputation goes down the drain. It is assumed that all participants in life's beauty parade are not quite there. Even the beauty pageant contestants, who are carefully monitored, have a few tricks up their sleeves to keep all working parts imaginatively ample.

If it is just a matter of adding body and luster to glowing tresses, then nobody can complain, including and especially spouses. But if it is the body part that has been discovered with a made in China logo under the seam, then the resultant risk has not justified the momentary early impression.

When possible, be as natural and real as you can. This is especially true of hair. Otherwise, be ready to perform some circus magic cover-ups or sleight-of-hand escapes, when things don't go exactly as planned. It can be a lot harder to repair a reputation to those closest to you, than to re-engineer a bad case of split ends.

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